He’s «Dating» Another Girl. Do I Give Him an Ultimatum?

Reader Question:

we found some guy online just who lives 500 kilometers away. He’s 34 and I’m 53. He performed tell me he’d a lady the guy dated «locally» and that he had been only on the internet site wanting friends. 90 days later we knew there is feelings per some other.

At the same time, he nonetheless shows he is having issues together with his girl, who isn’t somebody he is «dating» in your area. He’s coping with the lady plus they’ve been with each other for four decades.

I finally determined we’d meet up with to find out if it was well worth following. He gave me the reason he failed to think it absolutely was to exercise while he was still together. I finally offered him an ultimatum and informed him i possibly couldn’t play next fiddle. He professed his really love but said he had been very puzzled.

Do we give him ultimatum, it really is the girl or myself? Am I wrong to inquire about him in order to make that choice?

-Nancy (Florida)

Dr Wendy Walsh’s Solution:

Oh Nancy, Nancy, Nancy! You penned if you ask me for sincerity, correct? Really, are you sitting yourself down? Because right here arrives a honey pot of fact.

You might be located in dream area, my personal precious girl. You’ve not even found this person just who may be one and who might not have a girlfriend.

We extremely suggest you can see the documentary «Catfish» (available on iTunes and Netflix) about an online really love fraud.

But even if you don’t do that, let`s say for a moment he is really exactly who he says they are and overlook the fact the guy began creating to you personally by lying about his union condition.

Why don’t we merely look at the alleged details.

A.) He’s nearly twenty years younger than you.

B.) He is in a significant commitment.

C.) The guy said from the beginning he is just looking to end up being friends.

So I ask you, why would you exposure your center on such a poor wager?

Practical question should not be about providing him an ultimatum, but instead, if you allow yourself the love you have earned?

If yes, subsequently that isn’t the horse you need to drive in to the sunset with. Manage, lady!

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